This is the song that never ends...: 10/30/2005 - 11/06/2005

This is the song that never ends...

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

Four days left..

....and what's going through my whirring mind?

I'm scared.
I'm scared that I could be making a terrible mistake by running the marathon. My training has been awful and I've slacked off with most of it. I ran 15 miles a couple weeks ago (10/22), but that was my longest run and I'm in DESPERATE need of some encouragement that it's all going to be okay. Even if someone lies to me, I'll take it.

Did about 7.5 miles on Sunday (last 'long' run until after the 'thon). They were decent miles and I finished with a balls-out run at the end because I was so energized. I think I'm finally at the 'acceptance' stage with this thing. A couple months ago, I was in denial: "Marathon? Well... I'm sure I won't be running it. Something will happen and I'll back out. I've got time. I don't really need to train that hard for something that's not there...." Then anger set in: "What? It's gonna cost me HOW much to cancel my plane tickets? What? You're disappointed in me for wanting to give up on a goal that I've had for about 4 years?" And now I've settled into acceptance. Which, I suppose, is a good place to be right now. There's not a whole lot that I can do right now to change my fate in the marathon. I can make sure that I stretch well, take my vitamins, get lots of sleep and eat foods that agree with me. I can make sure that I pack well and that I pace myself when the day comes. I can plan my morning for the marathon so that I have every base covered...... but......I'm still nervous as hell---What I know for sure is that I'm getting on a plane this Saturday at 6:05 in the morning to go do something huge. I'll be taking the procrastinator inside of me, spinning her around, pulling down her pants and spanking her ass as hard as I can.
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