This is the song that never ends...: Killing Me Softly

This is the song that never ends...

Saturday, April 28, 2007

Killing Me Softly

The babe is not sleeping at night. I'm tired.

Last night was Friday night---this means that it's John's night to wrangle the midnight demon should he arise. Baby woke once around 3-something...maybe earlier... and proceeded to wail. I was particularly concerned because he's been fighting a fever for a day or two due to teething and I've been trying to keep a close eye on it. I heard John get up, say a few soothing words, take a temp and then mumble something about 'we're not bringing him back into bed with us anymore so I guess we should let him cry it out'. John prompty began snoring. The baby continued his pleading. I laid there for a few minutes trying to remember what all books say regarding this situation. Do I check on him every couple minutes and then leave it alone? Do I pick him up and rock him? Do I ignore him all together?

The problem with my monster is that if you go in to try that whole, 'give him some reassuring words and leave with progressively longer gaps in between' game, he knows he's winning. His shreik will hit monumental levels when you 'reassure' him and when you leave, you'd think someone or something was ripping off each and every one of his toes.

I fell into his trap.

I went in, rubbed his little sweaty head (from crying, not fever) and shhhh'ed him. Nothing. I held his little fingers. Nothing. I snuggled the sleep sheep next to his face so he'd think is was me (ummm, nice try,dumbass). Nothing. So I did what any tired, new mommy with no backbone at three-o-clock in the morning would do. I picked up Mr. SwollenEyes and brought him to the couch with me for some slumber, albeit shitty. He just thrust his tiny fingers into my hair, twirled it for a minute or two and was snoring. The little bugger WON!

So, I sit here, at 9:00p with my second cup of coffee trying to stay awake. John went out for a while with his friends (I was invited, too, but declined the invite due to lack of sitter-age. Besides, I wanted him to have fun with 'his' friends and get a chance to really hang with them. I've been so busy with work lately, it's nice to just be home for once) and this is my first night alone with the bebe since he was a week old. We had a bit of a tussle after his bath when he didn't want to go down for the night, but I stuck it out and I'm proud to say I won that battle. For now.

But I gotta say, that crying really does tear a little hole in my heart. Does it ever get easier? Will he ever sleep all night? Will I ever be a size two? Oh, sorry.....

On that note... I'm starting another BFL challenge tomorrow. Totally vanilla. I'm doing it to get ready for a prospective vacation in August and on Jack's one year birthday, I'd like to be something of a spectacle, thankyouverymuch. Still deciding on whether I want to submit photos and the official package. I suppose it wouldn't hurt, right? I could use a million or so bucks.


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